Last Chemo T-Minus 4 days

 

Monday - May 19th - The Chemotional Home Stretch!   

 

It's finally here!  My last and final chemotherapy treatment this Friday, May 23rd.  I seriously cannot believe it!  Four months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer and now - I hope and pray to God - I can say that I am NED (no evidence of disease) That all of these toxic chemicals being dumped into my body every 3rd week for the last 16 weeks have paid off and that my little asshole tumor has been obliterated to the fullest extent.  

 

In about 2 weeks I will go in for a breast MRI to see how well the treatment worked - And I have never been so hopeful AND fearful in my life.  In the beginning, being fully diagnosed was the most terrifying process I have ever been put through mentally & physically.  Then when chemo came along it was this unwelcomed battle plan of grin and bare it and you'll thank me later.  I've grinned - I've bared it - Through some shitty shit, let me tell you.  I act like this is all lollypops and rainbows but I assure you, I'm great at smiling.  After the 5th chemo, my body has given me the big F-You and I am still striving to recover from it.  Its hard to believe that there are individuals out there who do upwards of 20+ chemo cycles.  That is super human and I don't know how they do it.  I am so very thankful for my measly 6 and praying to God that this is all I will ever have to endure for the rest of my life. 

 

Now that this part of the process will be all said and done, I still have more to power through.  I meet with my surgeon Dr. Prier on June 30th to go over my bilateral mastectomy which will be scheduled within 2 weeks from seeing her.  Then I will have my reconstructive surgery in September/October some time.  All while still getting Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks until February 2015 and starting the oh so lovely Tamoxifen drug.  Definitely NOT looking forward to popping that pill every day...

 

In between I have SO MUCH to look forward to!  My 31st birthday is coming up on June 2nd - Scott and I are taking a trip to Southern CA to visit family and friends - Camping Trips planned - And all the wonderful Summer/Fall activities that Boise has to offer!  And lets not forget my hair growing back!!!!!!!!  I am beyond elated, I cant even describe :)  

 

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My finger nails (and a few toenails) are starting to die off.

Definitely on my list of "worst symptoms ever"

 

 My eyelashes and Eyebrows are hanging on for dear life! 

They are about half the thickness after 4 months of chemo.



Chemo Day - 5th Cycle / Scott turns 33!

Friday - May 2nd - Chemo Dose #5
 

 My Mom, Grandma Nancy & Sister Alicia!

 

Fifth one down - One to go!!!  This is definitely surreal to me and I am so ready to be done with chemotherapy.  I know that once this is complete, its only a fraction of the battle that I am fighting.  But I must say, its bittersweet... When I started this roller coaster ride, I was set with an action plan and with this plan I felt like I was being protected by chemo while going through the battle field.  As if every 3 weeks this insane army raided and ridded my body of the bad guy.  When chemo is all said and done I wont have the pending army ready and waiting to fight for me and this is a scary thought.  However, I am ready for the next phase of the action plan, double mastectomy 4-6 weeks post last chemo.  I am ready to start fighting on my own through my daily lifestyle.  I am ready to give the big middle finger to about 20 symptoms with zero remorse.  I. Am. Ready. 

 

The Doctor Appointment went great!  I had a heart ultrasound the Monday prior to my chemo to check and make sure that the left chamber of my heart is functioning properly.  Herceptin (one of the anti bodies I am on) affects the heart and its important to get checked after 90 days on Herceptin.  All is well and came back looking good!  I was very worried and even had a few meltdowns in-between the ultrasound and chemo.  But I got through it!  And of coarse Dr. Hodson always manages to make me feel like a champ when I see her.  Her affirmations get me through to the next appointment and I am so very thankful to have her as my oncologist!  Until next (and last) chemo...
 

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A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my love Scott!  Today - May 9th - He turns 33!!

In the nineteen years we have known one another, we have been through SO much - and that still is an understatement.  However we are coming out on the other side happier, stronger and wiser!  In our "older" age we have learned to appreciate and love one another in a way that we could not have done earlier on.  I am beyond thankful for his love and patience and the amazing way he has shown his support and comfort through "sickness & in health."  There is so much to be said about someone through their actions during the hard times, that's when you know... and I am one lucky lady!  I know this.  For the first time I am content, even through cancer treatment.  I am aware of what fulfills me and makes me whole.  This is a priceless realization that I will not take for granted.  I cannot do this life without Scott and our little family.  Everyday I look forward to picking up our boys from school, listening to their day on the ride home, seeing them jump out of the car and onto their bikes as soon as we pull up, cooking dinner with Scott and talking about our day then cuddling on the couch to watch our weekly shows after the boys go to bed.  All the things that make him who he is - all the way down to the way we disagree - I would miss if it were gone.  I have learned a lot through this stage of my life and I am happy to learn and be humbled by this lesson on love.