Tomorrow is a big day and frankly, writing about it makes me want to cry. Tomorrow, I have a Left Breast Mastectomy. Now, I can sit here and write all about how much this sucks and how I hate cancer and go into very morbid detail about how I truly feel in regards to losing a body part. But I’m not going to because honestly, I will not know how this will impact me emotionally or how traumatized I will genuinely be until the procedure is done and I go home and have to live with having only 1 breast until reconstruction in October. Right now I am doing a lot of pre-mourning the loss of this body part and this surgery is the epitome of bitter-sweet. On one hand I will receive a pathology report after the surgery is completed showing (I pray to God) that I am cancer free, plus the peace of mind knowing that the “home” of which my little asshole tumor occupied, is now demo’d and under construction. On the other hand – I lose a boob.
So until I am home, on pain meds, left side boobless with the new nickname “righty” and bandaged up with a disgusting drainage tube coming out my side… I won’t be able to give an honest update about how I feel. Until then!
Where Ive been so far - Where Im at & where I'm headed
15 – Doctor Visits to date
1 - Mammogram
1 - Ultrasound
1 - Core Needle Biopsy
1 – Breast MRI
1 – PET Scan
2 – Heart Echo
1 – ER Visit + CT Scan & Bloodwork
1 – Genetic Testing / BRCA1 BRCA2 TP53 Negative
6 – Cycles of Taxotere + Herceptin + Projeta
13 – More Herceptin’s to go
27 - “What the
F&^?%’s”
1,472 – Pages of Notes on Cancer and Side Effects
4 – Days of taking pain pills due to chemo, because I like self-torture
6 – Days of work missed while going through chemo… because again, I
like self-torture
3 – Self Pity - I have Cancer - Parties
Surgery
Sentinel Node Biopsy + IV Port
Mastectomy – Left Breast 6/25
Mastectomy + Reconstruction + Chest Expanders – Planned for
Oct 2014
Reconstruction with Breast Implants – Planned for January
(or earlier)
IV Port Removal – February 2015
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