Monday - January 20 - Martin Luther King Jr. Day - I have cancer:
There are no words to properly use to possibly describe what it sounds like or feels like when you hear this one sentence -
"the biopsy from your breast
shows cancer cells"
I'm sorry. What? I have cancer in my breast? You mean, I have breast cancer? Are you sure? Did you check ten times over to make SURE? That moment hit me like a ton of bricks. How I handled this news is the one thing I want to keep to myself throughout this process. To describe it would give it no justice. There are literally NO words.
Tuesday - January 21 - First Oncology Appointment - Dr. Hodson:
The little asshole (tumor) has a name
Invasive Ductal Carcinoma
Stage 2
HER2 Neu positive. http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/TypesofTumors.html More Info.
Invasive Ductal = Cancer started in my milk duct and broke through the duct wall and became a tumor.
Stage 2 = My tumor is larger than 2cm but smaller than 5cm. If they find cancer in my lymph nodes, my stage will move up. Praying that this doesn't happen.
HER2 positive = HER2-positive breast cancers tend to grow faster and are more likely to spread and come back compared to HER2-negative breast cancers. Along with my chemo I will be given an infusion of Herceptin which slows or stops the growth of breast cancer that overexpressed the HER2 protein.
This was the day information started to flood in so fast, so deep that my brain went numb. I sat there in the doctor's exam room with Scott, my mom Gaylene and my (step) dad Gregg. My amazing mother ready to go with a large notepad, writing notes like a mad woman (my doctor apparently won a prize for speed talking), my dad sitting there with huge worry & concern all over his face and my poor Scott... That man loves me like nobody's business. Scott has a ton of medical knowledge due to lots of schooling and entering into the nursing program soon. He understood the terms and HUGE words that were way beyond me. Its a good and not so good thing. We all sat there and absorbed what we could. This is what I got from my 1st appointment: I have a very common cancer / I have the worst kind of the common cancer / They are going very aggressive with my treatment because of my age (30) / I have to do chemo, without it I have a 30% chance it won't come back & with chemo its a 90% chance - no brainer / I need to wrap my head around losing my hair + possibly both breasts and ovaries / I will endure chemo + surgery + radiation + hormone therapy + reconstructive surgery all within a year and some change. However, all of this - ALL OF IT, is worth my life.
Wednesday - January 22 - Genetics Counseling & MRI:
They are doing a TON of research and tests with the fact that we all inherit the cancer gene and its more prevalent in people such as myself. There is cancer history on my paternal side. My biological father passed away when he was 41 from Small Cell Lung Cancer. He had a really bad cough and thought it was bronchitis (he was a heavy smoker). He had seen a doctor and found out it was in fact lung cancer, the most aggressive kind. They had put him through chemo and three months after diagnosis, he was gone. His sister (my Aunt) had been diagnosed with breast cancer when she was young and is still alive today. My dad's aunt (my great Aunt) was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was older and survived. My dad's mom (my Grandma) passed away from several issues however the doctors said the tumors in her stomach were so large they could feel them from the outside. So needless to say, cancer is very rampant on my biological father's side.
I learned a lot from my genetics counseling meeting and will soon do the small panel of 6 genes (BRCA1, BRCA2, p53, PTEN, STK11 and CDH1) to see what comes out positive. If the BRCA1 gene is positive, I have an 85% chance of having the cancer come back. Which means my bilateral mastectomy decision will be an easier one to make... and I will have my ovaries removed. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/BRCA - More Info.
That night I was called in for my MRI and my mom met me at the hospital (love her!) She sat and read through my wonderful collection of cancer magazines while I spent 45 minutes getting in and out of the infamous tube thingy. I had never had an MRI done in my life, until now. Shit, I have never been "sick" or needed the hospital until now.
Thursday - January 23 - Echo Ultrasound + Chemo Class:
The Echo Ultrasound was an ultrasound of my heart. Mostly the left chamber. Apparently Herceptin (the extra infusion I am going to have due to my HER2 positive diagnosis) causes heart failure ... along with a shit ton of other side effects I have to endure. Oh yay! I don't know what's worse - The cancer or the side effects of treating the cancer.
Right after, I went on over to Chemo Class and met Scott and my mom (who had a pad of paper and pen ready to go to jot down everything that will go over my head once again). Its amazing what happens when you are overloaded with information - My brain just shuts off, I zone out and I start thinking about my kids, Scott, my life, everything I have ever wanted to accomplish or experience. It's overwhelming. So, chemo class was "helpful"... if you'd like to freak yourself out over the nice long list of side effects.
Anemia / Loss of appetite / Loss of Hair EVERYWHERE (now I can totally embrace not shaving my downstairs, legs or armpits for the next 4+ months) / Constipation / Diarrhea / Fatigue / Headaches / Infection / Swelling / Bloating / Pain / Nerve changes in hands and feet / Mouth Sores / And more that I don't even want to think about ... UGH.
Friday - January 24 - Peace:
Enjoy the next 6 days doctor visit free, with my family and friends - before the storm hits!
UPDATE: Results from my MRI came back on 1/27 showing NO signs of the cancer invading my chest wall. Also, no signs of tumors elsewhere. However, there is 1 lymph node on my left side/armpit that they are still worried about. I will have a Sentinel Biopsy done to have that lymph node tested, prior to chemo.
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