Chemo Reality

Tuesday - February 9th - Post Chemo Day #4

I honestly don't think things get "real" until chemo starts.  In the beginning, I was diagnosed and struggling to even wrap my head around vocalizing the word "cancer."  Now, reality sets in and I have to live it.  It is now written all over my face after post chemo Day 3.  Once you start chemotherapy there is no going back - What's done is done and a new wave of emotions set in.  I was doing GREAT on Sunday!  Not a hint of side effects and I had never felt better since this whole thing started and then BAM it hits like a ton of bricks.  I woke up Monday morning to a mini-laundry list of symptoms and the worst of them all was my face.  My entire face feels sunburnt, I have cystic pimples from my forehead down through my chest.  I have sores around my mouth that hurt so bad, I cant even crack a smile (which just so happens to be something I LOVE to do!)  I cant show an ounce of expression on my face because it just flat out HURTS.  I called the doctor and was told that this was expected especially with Projeta - As it is known for "skin changes." They are not kidding!  So I get to lose my hair AND have teenage acne?  Cancer can kiss my ass at this point.   

In a lot of the articles and books that I have read it stresses greatly to drink PLENTY OF WATER!  This is so important, as it flushes out the chemotherapy quicker which in turn helps with the symptoms.  I'm not sure how much of this is true considering everyone's symptoms are so different - But I am drinking water like a fish regardless!

In getting off my soap box ~ I leave you with this

I woke up this morning and wanted to ball my eyes out.  I did not want to get showered and go to work.  I did not want to drop my children off at school and have this face present to the world for all to see.  My body aches, my face hates me and the last thing I want to do is step foot outside of the only place I find comfort.   However, I looked in the mirror, took a deep breath and asked myself "What is in my control?" I can control how my outfit looks, how my hair is done and how I swipe the mascara on my eyelashes. 

THAT is what I can control - So I did just that :)  Attitude truly is everything.



 Day 4 Post Chemo

OVER NIGHT (Day 3 & 4 post)

Symptoms - Day 4 Post Chemo:

- Shooting pains through my body that come and go but are bearable.

- A lingering ache in my neck / shoulders / chest / ears

- Burnt Tongue feeling is still there / Cannot eat or drink anything hot, or its painful.

- Cotton Mouth / Soreness along the lining inside my mouth.

- Bloody gums when I brush my teeth (invest in a SUPER SOFT toothbrush).

- Sore when I swallow (mushy foods are best).

- Sores around my mouth are cystic and painful.

- Very Fatigued.

- Itchy bumps all over my scalp that are sore & tender. Hurts to brush my hair.

- Whites of my eyes are a yellow color.

- Itchy skin (taking Benadryl - definitely is helping).

- Queasy stomach (taking nausea pills - they are helping but the feeling comes and goes).

- Lightheaded at times when I am walking.