Right Breast Mastectomy + Full Chest Expander Reconstruction

Saturday, November 1st 2014 - The Big Kahuna of all Breast Surgeries has ARRIVED! 

Let me start off by saying - This, I hope, is the worst of it.  I have never been in so much recovery discomfort/pain in comparison to all other surgeries before this one.  Which brings me back to those infamous drainage tubes!  Last time I had ONE tube for my Left Breast Mastectomy back in June.  That tube brought me to my knees twice.  There is something about a nice (LONG) playable tube inserted about 12 inches into your chest that can get on anyones last nerve - So this time, times that by 4.  Yup. 4 drainage tubes.  I dont care who you are... you will be on the floor at some point crying hysterically because it is too much to bare and you want them all PULLED OUT!!!  Ya know, the same feeling you get during the last week of pregnancy ... 

I had my surgery on Wednesday, October 22, 2014 @ 6AM.  I knew the drill and my nerves were pocketed this time.  My lovely Scott was with me and we both joked around, laughed with the doctors and teased like we do, to make light of the situation.  God, I love that man.  I had a good idea as to the surgical process & what was to be expected - However this time Id wake up with a reconstructed rack.  HA!  To my surprise, I did not.  Now, I knew the surgeon was only going to start my Chest Expanders out with minimal fluid... but not THAT minimal!  Sheesh.  Cut this small B chested woman a break and give me something to wake up to.  Unfortunately, I will have to go through a 1-3 month process of getting a needle inserted into each breast and have about 75cc's of saline injected every few weeks.  Once I'm comfortable with my size, they will go in and swap out my expanders for my new Silicone Implants!  

Interested in what was used for my reconstruction & the process - Watch this video! Alloderm - Chest Expander Process - They used a "cadaver hamic" called Alloderm that was sewn in my chest muscle in order to hold the new implant.  Its all very intriguing how they do this, honestly.  

I was released Thursday to go back home and pretty much do a whole lot of nothing for 2 weeks.  Unfortunately I cannot take that much time off so I settled for a week and some change!  II'll be returning to work on November 3rd and I am looking forward to it!  It really keeps my mind off things and I enjoy what I do.  The pain meds have been heaven sent and I have not been shy to use them this round.  When your chest feels like its locked in a metal vice bra 24-7, you take the drugs.  

Prescribed

Percocet - Pain 

Lorazepam - Muscle Relaxer, helps the clenching in the upper chest a TON

Cephalexin - Antibiotics / Every 6 hours like clockwork for about 2 weeks. Super Important that I do not have an infection.  

Tips & Tricks for the Drainage Tubes

With the Chest Expanders I am not allowed to wear a bralette or zip up medical bra (that I had with my mastectomy last time).  So improvising happened!  I took two fluffy socks, safety pinned them to my pants at each hip and tucked 2 drains into each one.  This helps tremendously in having to carry them around.  I was given a long necklace of some sort to hang around my neck to hold the drains - Not a chance!!  I tried it and wanted to faint. The weight around my neck and the necklace with the drains leaning on my chest was a no go.  Also, I thought wearing loose fitting tops would feel better - negative there as well.  The snuggier the shirt the better.  Im not talking super tight, but lightly snug.  It helps the drain tubes stay against your sides without them dangling & flopping around too much - which ends up irritating the stitches that are holding the tubes in place. Always pad your drain tube site.  After each shower, I take a folded piece of gauze and tape it over the drain site as a cushion - Brilliance at its finest right there!   

Creating the Breast 

In this photo, you can see how cleaned out and concaved my "cancer" breast is post Left Breast Mastectomy.  It was so hard for me to believe that a surgeon could make a breast from that.  After the Expander Surgery with very minimal Saline, you can see that my chest is starting to form a rounded contoured breast shape.  I am very happy with the result thus far! 

Breast Cancer Awareness Day!
And lastly, our boys are awesome!  For October 24th Breast Cancer Awareness Day, their school wanted everyone to wear pink.  So a week before surgery I bought some hot pink long sleeves and puffy paint!  I designed the front and they designed the back.  They sported these so proudly that day and it makes my heart smile HUGE to see this photo!!!  

It's All About The Hair AFTER Chemo!

Saturday, November 1st 2014 - Hair After Chemo 

5 Months Post Last Chemo Hair Growth

Top Left - June 10th 2014 through Bottom Right - October 5th 2014

If there is one thing I googled more often than not, after finding out that I would be losing my hair to chemo... It was how fast does it grow BACK?!!!  Well here is a great progress photo for those in the same position - And my answer to you is that it grows back fast, however NOT fast enough!  I would read and hear things like my hair would feel as soft as bunny fur while coming in - Negative. That definitely didn't happen for me.  My texture hasn't changed, still have the some old dirty dishwater blonde that I did growing up - Except with WAY more gray!  And with that being said, my 1st Hair Dresser appointment is already scheduled for November 23rd and I cannot be more excited to get some light blonde back into my life!!  

I didn't do anything to help this growth along.  A lot of sites and blogs suggested all of these vitamins, oils, shampoo's, etc. and I just went out and bought a natural/paraben & sulfate free shampoo and conditioner.  I only wash my hair every other day or every 3 days, as I have zero oil issues.  I do not use a blow dryer or flat iron on my hair either.  The maintenance is super quick and it tends to faux hawk at the top naturally, which my little boys seem to dig!  

People often ask if I'm going to keep it short because they think its cute & it "has to be easier to upkeep now"... Well my answer is a big 'ole HECK NO to that one!  I love hair that I can use a curling iron on and braid. I am so anxious to have my long blonde hair back, I can hardly stand it.  I reminisce over photos and try hard not to do that too often, as it makes me so sad.  I miss bribing either of my two sisters to brush it and play with it every time we have Sunday Family Dinner.  I keep thinking just one more year and I will have a decent head full, to feel girly again.  Right now, you throw some reading glasses on me with no make up & this short-do and I look like a 12 year old boy about to hit puberty.  Definitely done with this phase!!!  

Left Breast Mastectomy

Wednesday, July 25th - Left Breast "Under Construction"

 

The last 7 days, to be honest, have had a lot of “I hate everything” moments!  And I thought being on steroids was bad. Um No. Try going through your everyday life with a DRAINAGE TUBE in your chest, coming out of your side and stitched to your skin.  Holy heck – Those who’ve been there know exactly what I am preaching about.  Every time I think “this is the worst part”… something somehow trumps it.  And the drainage tube trumps a lot.  During a brief meltdown a few nights ago, I told Scott that “I will never complain about chemo hives ever again after experiencing this contraption.”  Poor guy, he seriously did not know how to comfort me during this hurtle and has not been able to give me a good solid hug since surgery.

 



Photo Disclaimer 

I feel like a hot mess and look like I need to eat a hamburger… or 5

 

 

On Wednesday, March 25th, I checked myself in to the hospital @ 10am for my Left Breast Mastectomy.  Scott accompanied me and then I was pleasantly surprised with a visit from my good friend Bradley!  We all sat in the waiting area cracking breast jokes and trying to get my mind off the inevitable.  At 10:30 they walked Scott & I back to the pre-op area and  I gowned-up and they accessed my IV Port for the IV, etc.  which was AWESOME!  I really do love my IV Port - and there truly is zero sarcasm in that statement.  However I look forward to the day it is gone because that will mean I am done with treatment!  So I hung out in the pre-op room with Scott until 12pm surgery time.  Dr. Prier stopped by and wrote her initials on my Left Boob and off I went.  Gotta love anesthesia.  Within 10 seconds I was out like a light and woke up 2 hours later in post-op.  They rolled me into my room and my family was waiting for me!  I don’t quite remember much of that evening due to the amazing morphine they doped me up with but I do know that I slept damn good that night.  Thursday I had to spend in the hospital until I was discharged in the early afternoon.  Before heading out I met with Dr. Prier and she said that my breast tissue slid off nicely which is a good sign.    

As I was lying in bed at home on Friday, I received a phone call at 10:45am from Dr. Prier – My pathology report from my breast tissue had come back and her exact words were “I have some great news!  Your report is in and there is zero cancer cells left in your breast tissue.  All that was left was very little scar tissue where your markers were placed on the tumor (during my core needed biopsy on 1/17) and the surrounding tissue did not test for cancer.”  I AM CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   This was of coarse amazing news but I was so loosened up on Norco that I could hardly bounce off the walls let alone get up to use the restroom.  Still, after 5 days of receiving this news, it is very surreal and honestly unbelievable.  I am still in shock.

 

 

No-Boob Shocker - To poke fun of myself, I truly don’t see much of a difference considering how tiny my boobs already are!  But to be honest, it is a loss and I have my moments.  And for now I am allowing my body to heal rather than focus on the emotional aspect of the process.  I have to tell myself every day to look at my bandage and the tube coming out of my side for infection and changes in the area rather than focus on the fact that there is zero breast tissue and my nipple is gone and holy crap, couple that with a boyish buzz haircut and no makeup and I’ve got myself an emotional meltdown waiting to happen!!!  So I choose to compartmentalize and that works for me, for now. 

Mastectomy pain wise – This is a cake walk.  I had surgery on Wednesday and was back to work the following Monday.  I am not allowed to lift very much for about 2 weeks.  The area is tender and very numb which is such an odd feeling when getting examined.  There’s a lingering ache feeling in my chest but other than that, this has been an easy recovery.  I took pain meds for about 48hours after surgery and haven’t touched them or needed them since.  I have these sensations through the entire area of tingling and pinching and twitching, almost like the nerves are trying to connect to something that isn’t there. 

Drain & Drain Removal (TMI for those who want to know or are going through this) – My drainage flow was very little.  The first 48 hours I had about 25-35 ML of fluid but after that it tapered off quickly.  I am 7 days post-surgery and had my drain tube removed today because I couldn’t stand it anymore (and because I also maintained a 10-15 ML of fluid for more than 2 days which is a sign that it can be removed.)  Don’t read what the internet tells you.  Funny thing, I completely psyched myself out and read the bad stories of infection and painful removal.  For me, it took – literally – 3 seconds.  I counted.  I was on my back on the table, she snipped the stitch that was in my skin (did not feel this at all), pressed a gauze pad over the insertion site and gently pulled it out.  I felt pressure and that was that.  I was so excited to be free of that darn thing, it has been the highlight of my week!!!  The aftermath of the removal – So far it’s been 6 hours and I have an increase ache in my chest and this feeling as if fluid is “gurgling” under my skin.  I spoke to someone I know who had a drainage tube as well and she said she felt the same thing.

 

This bra is hanging in my doctors office!   Love it!!!

 

Left Breast Mastectomy Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a big day and frankly, writing about it makes me want to cry.  Tomorrow, I have a Left Breast Mastectomy.  Now, I can sit here and write all about how much this sucks and how I hate cancer and go into very morbid detail about how I truly feel in regards to losing a body part.  But I’m not going to because honestly, I will not know how this will impact me emotionally or how traumatized I will genuinely be until the procedure is done and I go home and have to live with having only 1 breast until reconstruction in October. Right now I am doing a lot of pre-mourning the loss of this body part and this surgery is the epitome of bitter-sweet.  On one hand I will receive a pathology report after the surgery is completed showing (I pray to God) that I am cancer free, plus the peace of mind knowing that the “home” of which my little asshole tumor occupied, is now demo’d and under construction.  On the other hand – I lose a boob.

So until I am home, on pain meds, left side boobless with the new nickname “righty” and bandaged up with a disgusting drainage tube coming out my side… I won’t be able to give an honest update about how I feel.  Until then!

Where Ive been so far - Where Im at & where I'm headed

15 – Doctor Visits to date

1 - Mammogram

1 - Ultrasound

1 - Core Needle Biopsy

1 – Breast MRI

1 – PET Scan

2 – Heart Echo

1 – ER Visit + CT Scan & Bloodwork

1 – Genetic Testing / BRCA1 BRCA2 TP53 Negative

6 – Cycles of Taxotere + Herceptin + Projeta

13 – More Herceptin’s to go

27 -  “What the F&^?%’s”

1,472 – Pages of Notes on Cancer and Side Effects

4 – Days of taking pain pills due to chemo, because I like self-torture

6 – Days of work missed while going through chemo… because again, I like self-torture

3 – Self Pity - I have Cancer - Parties

 

Surgery

Sentinel Node Biopsy + IV Port

Mastectomy – Left Breast 6/25

Mastectomy + Reconstruction + Chest Expanders – Planned for Oct 2014

Reconstruction with Breast Implants – Planned for January (or earlier)

IV Port Removal – February 2015

 

My 31st Birthday ~ June 2

 

Two weeks after my final chemo was finished, I was able to celebrate my 31st Birthday!  Damn it feels good.  Moving forward in life I will never view age as a depressing milestone.  Instead, it is a privilege to grow older and I have been humbled by this. 

I celebrated with my first alcohol beverage in 5+ months!  I definitely do NOT feel the same about casually drinking.  This health scare and the fact that I have not touched alcohol since diagnosis, by choice, has really changed my view on it.  I can see myself enjoying a nice ice cold cider while camping or for a special occasion but other than that I am done with liquor.  Let me tell you - I feel DAMN GOOD about this decision and its been an easy one make! Cheers to that!!

 

 

 Throughout this cancer journey I have met so many that do not know if they will make it to their next birthday.  A few months ago during a cancer class for my two young boys - I sat in a circle with another mom that has cancer and hearing her tell everyone "I am just trying to stay alive long enough for my little girl to have memories of me when she is older" tore through my heart.  I will NEVER forget her or how these words resonated with me.

 

 

 

6th & LAST CHEMO

Friday, May 23rd - 6th and Final Chemo

It has been a quick and crazy 3 weeks since my last chemo!!!  So much so that I had forgotten to document the most important part of the last 4 months. 

For Memorial Weekend I was able to celebrate more than just a holiday, but my last day sitting in a chair hooked up to an IV for hours on end.  I cant even begin to write down for you, how much this meant to me.  I was finally able to ring that "done with treatment" bell they have mounted on the wall in the Infusion Room. I cried.  I welled up with tears and just sobbed in front of my Mom, Scott and the entire nursing staff.  I did not expect the emotional release that this day gave me.  I cried when I woke up, cried after treatment and cried and cried for days after it was over with... 

I will no longer have to endure the bullshit that chemo dishes out and this is overwhelmingly amazing!  Granted, I am completely thankful for what it has done for me.  I could never say or write that I hate chemo, it feels so wrong to hate something that is - in essence - saving my life.  Chemotherapy is in fact the reason that I will continue to live a long and full life!  And here I am tearing up just thinking about this.  Oh man what an emotional rollercoaster this whole process has been! 

 

Throughout this, I managed to keep my cancer infested life off of Facebook.  For me, it was a personal decision to really leave the cancer at the hospital.  This has been good for me mentally and has helped me power through and have some sort of control over the situation.  With that said, I had made a 9 minute picture/video that documented the chemo process and what I went through.  I posted this on my FB page the last day of chemo and really appreciated the response I had received.  It was a bit therapeutic for me to do this and of coarse... I cried when I finished making the video and when I posted it for all to see.     

Shanna's Journey Through Chemo - VIDEO

 

 

Last Chemo T-Minus 4 days

 

Monday - May 19th - The Chemotional Home Stretch!   

 

It's finally here!  My last and final chemotherapy treatment this Friday, May 23rd.  I seriously cannot believe it!  Four months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer and now - I hope and pray to God - I can say that I am NED (no evidence of disease) That all of these toxic chemicals being dumped into my body every 3rd week for the last 16 weeks have paid off and that my little asshole tumor has been obliterated to the fullest extent.  

 

In about 2 weeks I will go in for a breast MRI to see how well the treatment worked - And I have never been so hopeful AND fearful in my life.  In the beginning, being fully diagnosed was the most terrifying process I have ever been put through mentally & physically.  Then when chemo came along it was this unwelcomed battle plan of grin and bare it and you'll thank me later.  I've grinned - I've bared it - Through some shitty shit, let me tell you.  I act like this is all lollypops and rainbows but I assure you, I'm great at smiling.  After the 5th chemo, my body has given me the big F-You and I am still striving to recover from it.  Its hard to believe that there are individuals out there who do upwards of 20+ chemo cycles.  That is super human and I don't know how they do it.  I am so very thankful for my measly 6 and praying to God that this is all I will ever have to endure for the rest of my life. 

 

Now that this part of the process will be all said and done, I still have more to power through.  I meet with my surgeon Dr. Prier on June 30th to go over my bilateral mastectomy which will be scheduled within 2 weeks from seeing her.  Then I will have my reconstructive surgery in September/October some time.  All while still getting Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks until February 2015 and starting the oh so lovely Tamoxifen drug.  Definitely NOT looking forward to popping that pill every day...

 

In between I have SO MUCH to look forward to!  My 31st birthday is coming up on June 2nd - Scott and I are taking a trip to Southern CA to visit family and friends - Camping Trips planned - And all the wonderful Summer/Fall activities that Boise has to offer!  And lets not forget my hair growing back!!!!!!!!  I am beyond elated, I cant even describe :)  

 

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My finger nails (and a few toenails) are starting to die off.

Definitely on my list of "worst symptoms ever"

 

 My eyelashes and Eyebrows are hanging on for dear life! 

They are about half the thickness after 4 months of chemo.