Cut It All Off!

Tuesday - February 25th - I buzzed my locks & Got Scott out of a Speeding Ticket!

 

 

Oh boy was this OVER DUE!  I had tried very hard to keep my hair pinned back and in a cap to contain what hair I had left in order to make it to the St. Baldrick's Foundation Event as a Shavee... but the soreness in my scalp and the wads of hair falling out were too much.  I made an informed decision after spending some time in the ER that afternoon, that it was all COMING OFF ASAP!  In Jones Family Fashion we turned it into a fun evening and got everyone involved - Scott, my Dad, Mom & both Kiddos!  I first handed over the scissors to my mom.  She has had a cute pixie cut for a long time now and I thought how fun to see if she can duplicate it with my hair!  She did a great job - Now I know who I'll go to when my hair is in transition while growing back in!  I let the boys take a few snips as well.  After, I let Scott and my Dad go at it with the clippers.  After going through a brief Miley Cyrus phase and major laughs that came with it - I became a baldy and absolutely LOVE it!!!  There is zero weight on my head and I no longer have a sore scalp.  On top of that I cut my "get ready time" down to 15 minutes.  My gawd, what woman wouldn't love that!  Now, I will still be attending the St. Baldrick's event to support and sport my baldness with my family and friends.  Looking forward to it!

 

On our way home Scott says "roll down the window babe, see how it feels on your head!"  So I'm feeling the wind in my "hair" and laughing... then BAM flashing lights from a cop behind us.  Oh man, Scott was bummed.  I confidently say "No worries, Ill get us outta this with my cancer" (Finding humor in this whole experience is a MUST!)  The cop comes to the window and informs Scott that he was doing 45 in a 35 zone.  Crap.  Cop asks "Where are you guys coming from?"  Scott replies "heading home from our parents house" Cop asks why.  "I just shaved my head!" and I lean over so he can see my baldness!!  (I am seriously all shits and giggles at this point).  Cop looks at me and goes "Why did you do THAT??"  ... I let him know that I have breast cancer and he says "Oh yeah, we all shave our heads for the St. Baldrick's foundation every year!"  I tell him how I was trying to save my hair for the same event but it was too painful so we lopped it off and I was checking out how it feels to have my head in the wind - Hence Scott not paying attention to the speed limit!  Cop's response "Have a good night guys" and hands us Scott's DL back.  BOOM!!  Handled it with my damn cancer :) 

 

  

My little audience got involved with the scissors!

Mom and I with the same cut for a moment!!

 

Now the boys turn! 

 

Miley Cyrus Phase. Ha!

 

All is done & feeling great

 

My man <3

 

 

 

 

CT Scan & Blood Work

Tuesday - February 25th - Hospital Wait Times Suck!

 

How did you spend your Tuesday?! We took a 4hr trip to the ER... Gotta love chemo - It's like the gift that keeps on giving (or that holiday fruit cake that nobody can stand but somehow gets re-gifted to you. Yuck.) The day was great and then HELLO loss of eye sight. My left eye lost about 1/2 it's vision and my peripheral was off on my right side. Lasted about 15 minutes and then a migraine set in like gang busters. Of coarse I'm at work and instantly unable to function. Nausea & other tummy issues set in immediately and I called the doctor. Being a cancer patient no symptom is a small one, they are all treated with red flags so off to the ER I went! Scott & my mom and Dad met me there and so the wait began... 

 

After 4hrs my labs came back excellent! Which is great news. My white blood cell count is "normal" and the doc said it looks like I didn't take a blood cell hit with my 1st round of chemo. A CT scan was done to check for brain bleed and it came back clear. So all in all nothing a massive amount of Aleve couldn't fix but of coarse I have to error on the side of caution. I am such a grin and bare it kinda gal so having people fuss over a migraine made me feel ridiculous but I am so thankful I went in. If not for a clean blood work panel, than for quality time with Scott & his humor!! 

Hair Loss

 

 

UGH!  ... In chemo fashion, the major hair loss happened over night.  A week ago I had started to lose a few strands more than "normal" - Then over night it started coming out in wads.  This morning I shampooed my hair but not without losing a ton of it, so I will definitely be washing my hair sparingly in order to make it to the St. Baldrick's foundation shaving event!  I have 12 more days, so here's to hoping I can make it without taking clippers to my head first!!!  I am so ready to be bald.  I know that seems funny but truly I cannot wait.  The soreness and itch in my scalp from the weight of my hair is unnerving sometimes and I'm already wearing hats daily so why not shave off (no pun intended) some time in the mornings when getting ready for work!  There is zero emotional attachment to my hair at this point.  That has come and gone... Thankfully.  Now onto my collection of beautiful knitted hats! Thank you to everyone who has mailed, knitted, gifted wonderful hats for me to wear.  It is SO very much appreciated and I love them!

   

 



Hair Loss - Post 1st Chemo 14 days

Bigger Than Baldness - Children's Cancer Research Event

St. Baldrick's Foundation

 

Alright family and friends - Its THAT time! Since I'm losing my hair to chemo, I'm going to do it for a good cause and in the presence of a ton of people on a stage for all to see!!! Please join in support and/or donation for the St. Baldrick's Foundation to benefit cancer research for children Saturday, March 8th - Shave time @ 11:45am - Boise Knitting Factory - Team "Bigger Than Baldness!" If you have any questions on how you can participate or donate please let me know!  Thank you SO much!

 

"St. Baldrick's Boise-Knitting Factory

It's World Cancer Day...what a perfect reason for you to join us in our fight against childhood cancer. Go to http://www.stbaldricks.org/events/boise to make a donation or register as a shavee or volunteer.  Then show up on March 8th at the Knitting Factory to show your support!"

Brief Update

No complaints here - I have been on the up and up since Saturday morning!!   The 7 days post chemo were not favorable but I made it through and now have boxing gloves on for the next round!  I now know what to expect and I am WAY more prepared with my army of prescriptions / vitamins / baby wipes / heating pads and facial regime.  Aside from the occasional UTI symptoms and the burning-tingle in the palms of my hands and bottom of my feet... Id say I am doing excellent!  My energy is through the roof and I have a new appreciation for moving around and getting things done without feeling unbearably exhausted. 

I am thoroughly enjoying this time - DOCTOR FREE - and learning what my "new normal" is.  I think I have this down!  It is starting to feel like I am me again (aside from the every 3rd week hiccup called Chemo) during the in between I have somewhat found my footing after the diagnosis storm has come and gone.  I am a positive person however I know better not to put all my eggs in one basket because the feedback I have gotten is that the chemo only gets worse as you go each time and the symptoms become more taxing.  So I am going to be very appreciative of this time and do what I can to keep comfortable until it is all over with mid-June.

In regards to my symptoms - My face is healing nicely!  I have been on antibiotics for 1 week now and doing my face regimen day and night.  My UTI symptom comes and goes as long as I obsessively drink water! And the burning sensation in my palms and feet are very bearable - Just uncomfortable. 

So that is THAT!  Next chemo is Friday 2/28 until then all I am waiting on is my BRCA1 / BRCA2 gene to come back in.  This result will dictate how much of my woman-hood will be taken out of my body.  Positive = Bilateral Mastectomy + Ovaries removed.  Negative = Lumpectomy + Radiation.  I am praying my little heart out for a NEGATIVE!!!  My tumor has downsized rapidly after only 1 chemo treatment, so I am confident that a very small lumpectomy surgery will be all that is needed.  To my amazing village of family and friends, please spread your awesome mojo out into the universe and pray for a Negative Test Result.  Thank you always!
 

 

Thankful

 

 

There is something that happens when you are diagnosed with cancer - You feel downright alone. Even though you have the 2nd most common killer in the world living inside of you - You feel alone.  Its baffling how that happens.  The most important thing to do is work so very hard on picking your booty up, move forward and gradually lift yourself out of that funk.  For me, the lift off and the happily extended middle finger toward the gutter I was leaving... was because I was handed the best possible outcome a cancer patient can get.  I got lucky. I use the word lucky (and not blessed, etc.) because everyone diagnosed is blessed with the time left that they are given, months or years.  However, I am lucky enough that my body kept the tumor at bay.  With every test that comes back with favorable results is a miracle and I fully believe in the power of prayer.

 

With that said, my own personal village of amazing family and wonderful friends pulled together and have done nothing but support, love, encourage, lift & (kindly) overload me with kick ass beat cancer information - And for this I Thank You!  I truly feel I would not be as positive and strong throughout this uncomfortable process, without you.  Through this I have also seen the strength in YOU as an individual and there are relationships that have grown deeper because I have cancer.  What an amazing and beautiful thing.  I have laughed and I have cried with so many of you in the last month and I just simply thank you for your support, your love, your prayers, your crossed fingers and your good mojo vibes that you have put out into the universe - Because I feel they have been answered.  You are amazing. 

 

Much Love Always,

Shanna

 

 

As for Scott and I, we are truly learning what "for better or for worse" means!  He has been a pillar of strength wearing many hats in our house since my diagnosis.  His support has been unbelievable and the growth in our relationship has been unlike anything I could have hoped for.  I am thankful for him every day and thank God that he was brought back into my life.  Amazing how all of this has unfolded - And I would not have it any other way!

 

 

 

 

 

Compliments of Chemo

Warning: I am about to complain!

Thursday - February 12th - I'm a little fed up

I have just about had it. I was crying on and off in the comfort of my office at work & couldn't take the pain in my body, my face & then I lose a nice little wad of hair after simply scratching my scalp because of my head sores. Not to mention waking up to a fiery burn in my ENTIRE downstairs area. That was IT! I was going to have a mini-breakdown. My office village collectively kicked me out so I could rest at home. I tend to be an overachiever but the work day was becoming difficult & I needed to just "give it up." I have been working full time hours with part time hospital visits while keeping things normal at home. I've outdone myself and have finally come to terms with the fact that there is no prize at the end of this - except my health. 

I left work and the doctor bumped my appointment up to that day (instead of next). On my way, I took an hour at the grocery store going down every single isle grabbing whatever I thought would be possible for me to eat.  I had already lost 5lbs in 1 week due to the acid pain that came with ANYTHING I attempted to put in my mouth. Losing weight is a huge no-no in the chemo/doctor world.  After, I headed to the appointment and Scott had met me there. 

We met with the nurse practitioner - Loved her!! We sat there listing out every symptom under the sun that I was having and Scott's face was priceless! He knew I was in pain but I don't think he knew (nor did I verbalize) how bad it was.  For the 1st time in ever, I was a #7 on the little happy-face pain scale. Even when I was in labor with my two boys, I never exceeded a 3 or so. I can handle my sh!t just fine but chemo is breaking me down.  Even my cup-o-pee that I have to do every doc visit, showed that I had a UTI on top of everything else. I was a MESS!

My oncologist popped in and took a look at my face and was in absolute shock - Her first words were "Now THAT is NOT suppose to happen." She said there was a chemo rash that happens but not this severe and obviously I'm sensitive - NO KIDDING! After we all came up with a symptom/recovery game plan, the NP asked if I had checked on the little asshole of a lump since my 1st Chemo. No, actually I hadn't. I felt it right then and WHOA MOMMA my tumor is SHRINKING! In 1 week my tumor is now flatter and the texture is different. It use to feel like a solid hard little egg with divots in it, almost like a golf ball. Now THAT made my symptoms worth it! I walked out of the office with a smile which was a far cry from how I felt when I went in. 

I have never been a pill girl. If I had a headache in the past, I'd ride it out before I took IBU. However I've become "Pill Popper Extraordinaire" overnight! And there is science to this. Thank God for Scott's brain because I would forget what pill is for what, every day. With the pain, I explained to the NP that I am not a pain killer kinda gal and she looked at me cross eyed. It's all about managing it and it's something I needed to learn. They prescribed Norco after my surgery & 2 of those sent me to candy land for about 8+ hours and I hate that out of control feeling!  So we came up with this - 1/2 of a Norco then if in 30 min I still have pain take the other 1/2. And what do you know?! I've been body pain free & completely functioning with a pep in my step since my doc visit!  I am slowly but surely getting this down :) 

The life of a chemo chic!

The Game Plan!

Vitamins - Glutamine & Alfalfa

Baking Soda - Mouth rinse after every meal

Instant Breakfast - Protein boost. To help with my lack of eating due to the acid pain in my throat.

Baby Wipes - Can no longer use TP :(

Pepcid AC + Omeprazole Prescription - To help me eat without acid pain. 

Bacterium Prescription - Antibiotic for my face. Already working! My face is now scabbing over and peeling. 

Benadryl - For the lovely ring of fire in the downstairs area. 

Imodium - For the diarrhea 

Stool Softener - For the constipation

Norco - For the pain. Moderate use for the week after chemo. 

My Face - Day 7 post chemo 

I will be shaving my head soon. The weight of my hair is painful and I need to either have it in a cap or pinned up for comfort. So with the baldness + teenage acne... I'm sure as heck going to rock this!!!

Goodbye "Hug In A Cup"

Thursday - February 13th 

The Day I Completely Gave Up Coffee

Sorely I admit - I can no longer drink my "hug in a cup."  Coffee has been a STAPLE in my life for about a decade.  Every morning same routine and even 1 allotted special Wednesday where Id indulge in a nice toasty hot beverage of choice from my favorite drive-thru coffee shop on my way to work.  Such a treat!!  However, not any longer.  It has gotten to the point where it is painful to drink and the lingering burn that sits in my throat for hours on end due to the acidity - just plain isn't worth it anymore.  So my famously known hug in a cup is now replaced with morning protein shakes.  You're probably thinking "that's such a healthier choice and is so much better for you!"  Well... if you are a coffee drinker and you are thinking this - Please, take a week off from your routine and get back to me about how you'd truly feel with such a life disruption ;-)

This not only goes for coffee but for about 90% of my normal daily food intake.  I cannot eat anything that is overly spicy, tough to chew, or drink anything that has citrus or any type of bold flavor.  It hurts going down and it is PAINFUL coming out (if you know what I mean)  I have spared the gory downstairs details of my symptoms, which I will continue to protect your eyes and ears on that one but let me tell you - What goes in most definitely comes out and I have been making my food/drink choices wisely after a few painful days in the restroom.   





Day 6 - Post Chemo Symptoms:

Nothing new to report other than a few bloody noses and quick and painful headaches.  The headache literally comes on like gang busters and then POOF its gone within 1 minute.  It is the darndest thing but thankful for the lack of longevity.





Children's Lives Include Moments of Bravery

Tuesday - February 11th - Hospital Workshop

C.L.I.M.B

"Children's Lives Include Moments Of Bravery"

When I was in for my chemo treatment this past Friday we had signed the boys up for a workshop/program through the hospital called CLIMB.  From what I had read, heard and experienced last night it is a great program for the boys to take part in while I go through my treatment and not-so-good days.  It is very important to Scott and I that I am not "sick" in their eyes because I don't want them to fear that I will always be "sick".  Cancer carries such a negative tone to it and when I say out loud that I have cancer it still feels very off.  I have yet to get use to this and hopefully wont.  But its important that the boys know I will be ok which is why we opted for this class.  Last night they went off into their children's group and made a very special frame for us parents.  They used a creative outlet to express themselves and felt SO unbelievably proud when they came back in with their gifts!  I want them to feel comfort and know that this is a passing time for me.  This is but a hiccup in our life and I will not have a victim attitude now or ever, especially in front of the boys.  And what a GREAT way to use this minor bump in the road to show them that anything is possible regardless of what stands in their way!     

Cancer has 100+ faces and I just so happen to have the best cancer ever!  (yes, I totally just said that) But really, I do.  I sat in a room last night with several other parents that have cancer and as each of them announce the type-kind-stage-etc. I am thankful. I feel awful but I am down right thankful.   You know what they say about the energy/thoughts you put out into the world is what you get back... well, what if I'm feeding my little asshole positive reinforcement to keep it behaving like it has been?  "There there little tumor, you are the best tumor ever and I am so glad you are mine!" ... In all honesty this is how I feel every time I hear that a parent has Stage 4 - Inoperable - Never will recover - Never ending chemo - 5 to 10 years to live. You're darn right I'm praising my little son-of-a-bitch.  And last night, I did over and over again. But at the end of the night when Scott and I re-cap and talk about things, we feel their pain and our hearts ache for those parents in ways I never imagined.  We were so close to that edge, wondering if I will live or if I will not.  That feeling of the in between... when you are told you have cancer through the time you are fully diagnosed - Those 3 weeks were the most emotional and mentally excruciating 3 weeks of my life.    There are no words to describe how it feels when YOU hear that YOU have cancer, and I cannot imagine how it feels when you are told there is no hope for a full recovery.  My heart just breaks. 



Post Chemo Day 4 (left) & Day 5 (right)

In other news, my face still hates me!  So here is the update on that:

Not my most favorable picture on earth!  But whomever is on chemo that just so happens to cross paths with my blog, Id like you to know what I did to help get through this horrendous face reaction - It is just plain painful.  Last night at the C.L.I.M.B workshop for the boys, I had met with another lady who was on the same chemo cocktail as I (Taxotere+Projeta+Herceptin) and she had the same reaction to her face.  The doctors had prescribed her Clindamycin (topical antibiotic) and it heeled the problem.  First thing I did this morning is call the doc for the prescription, so fast your head would spin!  Ill be picking this up today.

In addition to that, I have a wonderful and beautiful friend Theresa who is an esthetician and the 1st person I had been texting photos to, so she could share in my face pain!  She put together a wonderful healing kit to help with the discomfort.  She uses the skin care line IMAGE http://www.imageskincare.com/ and it has been a blessing to my face past and present (hence her business name http://www.blessenceskinandbody.com/)  Love her and Love her products. Straight up!  Literally over night my face was back on track and looking better rather than progressively worse. 

If there is any advice I can give it is this - DO NOT PICK - No No No No No!  No matter how bad you want to itch your face off, stay away.  You try and pop one of those little buggers and you are in for it.  They do not heal due to the white blood cell count being so low.  Advice I was given:  Do not steam the face, no heat period. Do not pick. Do not use any topical acne creams that dry out your face. No astringent. Use the most basic gentle face regime you can and wash your pillow cases often.  It has taken everything in me not to touch my face and I even work in an office where people come by and say hello often!  And let me tell you about the wide eyes I get when they look at my face...  You suck it up and you just DEAL with it!

Symptoms - Day 5 Post Chemo:

- Entire body aches (starts around mid day - mornings are great though) 

- Mild headache comes and goes

- Face is recovering but extremely itchy

- Scalp sores (itch and hurts to brush)

- Light nausea (I haven't taken any pills today and doing great!)

- Acidity issues with certain foods and drinks (cannot do coffee at all at this point, it hurts)

- Gums are raw (still very difficult to brush my teeth)

- DRINKING WATER LIKE A FISH!!! 

Chemo Reality

Tuesday - February 9th - Post Chemo Day #4

I honestly don't think things get "real" until chemo starts.  In the beginning, I was diagnosed and struggling to even wrap my head around vocalizing the word "cancer."  Now, reality sets in and I have to live it.  It is now written all over my face after post chemo Day 3.  Once you start chemotherapy there is no going back - What's done is done and a new wave of emotions set in.  I was doing GREAT on Sunday!  Not a hint of side effects and I had never felt better since this whole thing started and then BAM it hits like a ton of bricks.  I woke up Monday morning to a mini-laundry list of symptoms and the worst of them all was my face.  My entire face feels sunburnt, I have cystic pimples from my forehead down through my chest.  I have sores around my mouth that hurt so bad, I cant even crack a smile (which just so happens to be something I LOVE to do!)  I cant show an ounce of expression on my face because it just flat out HURTS.  I called the doctor and was told that this was expected especially with Projeta - As it is known for "skin changes." They are not kidding!  So I get to lose my hair AND have teenage acne?  Cancer can kiss my ass at this point.   

In a lot of the articles and books that I have read it stresses greatly to drink PLENTY OF WATER!  This is so important, as it flushes out the chemotherapy quicker which in turn helps with the symptoms.  I'm not sure how much of this is true considering everyone's symptoms are so different - But I am drinking water like a fish regardless!

In getting off my soap box ~ I leave you with this

I woke up this morning and wanted to ball my eyes out.  I did not want to get showered and go to work.  I did not want to drop my children off at school and have this face present to the world for all to see.  My body aches, my face hates me and the last thing I want to do is step foot outside of the only place I find comfort.   However, I looked in the mirror, took a deep breath and asked myself "What is in my control?" I can control how my outfit looks, how my hair is done and how I swipe the mascara on my eyelashes. 

THAT is what I can control - So I did just that :)  Attitude truly is everything.



 Day 4 Post Chemo

OVER NIGHT (Day 3 & 4 post)

Symptoms - Day 4 Post Chemo:

- Shooting pains through my body that come and go but are bearable.

- A lingering ache in my neck / shoulders / chest / ears

- Burnt Tongue feeling is still there / Cannot eat or drink anything hot, or its painful.

- Cotton Mouth / Soreness along the lining inside my mouth.

- Bloody gums when I brush my teeth (invest in a SUPER SOFT toothbrush).

- Sore when I swallow (mushy foods are best).

- Sores around my mouth are cystic and painful.

- Very Fatigued.

- Itchy bumps all over my scalp that are sore & tender. Hurts to brush my hair.

- Whites of my eyes are a yellow color.

- Itchy skin (taking Benadryl - definitely is helping).

- Queasy stomach (taking nausea pills - they are helping but the feeling comes and goes).

- Lightheaded at times when I am walking.

9 Days Post Sentinel Biopsy + IV Port

Everything is healing up nicely!  My port looks amazing after just 1 week and my incision from the Sentinel Biopsy is cleaning up very well. I was a little worried about how puffy this incision was but understandably so with it being in such a stretchy area.  

This morning was the first time since surgery that the port didn't feel like a weight sitting on my chest.  Such a pleasant feeling and finally accepting this little dude as apart of my life line! It does creep me out a bit when it gets touched or bumped - Ick! But our boys think its the coolest thing ever so that's a plus :)  

In trying to explain this process to our two boys, we had showed them a picture of the port that was going to be inserted into my chest.  We described this little thing as the superhero that would take superpowers to my tumor and kill it.  Just describing this little alien looking thing that you can clearly see through the skin, as a superhero and the tumor as a bad guy - they understood at the age of 5 & 7.  

The incision for my lymph node has its sore moments.  I think this is due to the fact that I had the Core Needle Biopsy done 2 weeks prior and then for the doc to head back on in there, the lymph nodes were not pleased!  I have had minor numbing sensations through my under arm near the incision but it has subsided quite a bit each day. 

Chemo Day - 1st Cycle

Friday - February 7th - 1st Day of Chemo

19 Days Post Diagnosis 

This day was FULL of great news!  Despite heading into my 1st round of chemotherapy I was given wonderful results that sent me into the infamous recliner with a smile on my face.  I arrived at the St. Alphonsus Cancer Care Center (Boise, ID) @ 8:30am with Scott & my mom in tow!  Immediately I was checked in and had my IV Port accessed for the 1st time to do blood work to make sure my levels were good and I was cleared for the Chemo.  Thank goodness for the numbing cream they provide.  I had slopped that stuff on my port an hour prior to the port being accessed and did not feel a thing.  The nurse popped the needle in without a hitch and I had gained HUGE appreciation for my new friend that is sewn into my chest. I get it now.  I get why the IV Port idea is scary at first but after the journey begins, it makes it bearable and without mutilating my arms.  I have grown thankful for this little thing! 

After the blood was drawn I was called in to meet with my oncologist and did not know what I was walking into. Scott, my mom and I waited for Dr. Hodson to come in and give us a run down of what to expect on my 1st day.  That lady walked in with a huge smile and said "Your PET scan came back clear!"  I had gotten the results much quicker than expected (within 24hrs) and was floored.  This means I have no other assholes devouring sugar in my body and trying to create a team of cancer cells that want to kill me!  THIS - IS - FANTASTIC - NEWS!  I was on an instant high.  Sentinel Biopsy - Negative / MRI - Negative / PET Scan - Negative / Prayers & Positive Mojo - Working / God - Amazing / Wow!  

And... The news got better... I was the first patient of hers that was approved through my particular insurance to receive the newer FDA approved Anti-Body "Projeta" to tag team with the Anti-Body Herceptin (for my HER2 positive diagnosis).  Meaning 2 bad asses tag teaming my little asshole tumor.  With this news means, the Projeta will replace one of my chemotherapies.  

New Treatment Plan: Instead of 2 Chemos (1x every 3 weeks) + 1 Anti Body (1x a week) - I now get 1 Chemo + 2 Anti Bodies (1x every 3 weeks)

I just shaved off 12 doctor visits for the next 5 months.  We all sat there with just a look of awe and amazement and I am still floored!

Here is how the chemo chair went from 10:30am - 3:30pm:

Steroid Injection - I had not picked up my prescription for my steroid pills prior so they had to inject the Steroids into my port.  This prevents nausea and gives a wee boost of energy (lies!) I was also given nausea pills to help as well and they did.

90 Min Herceptin - I had an instant allergic reaction as if I had inhaled smoke and it was filling up my chest.  I could grin and bare it but glad I spoke up immediately.  I was having a reaction to the Infusion in general and they quickly popped Benadryl in my IV to counteract.  The Benadryl hit me like a ton of bricks, instantly tired and very loopy.  Almost as if I pounded an entire bottle of wine.  After about 10 min. those symptoms tapered off and I was good to go! The rest of the drip went great.

90 Min Projeta - Went great!  No further reactions.

90 Min Taxotere - I am happy they saved the chemo for last.  I became light headed, loopy and fatigued.  This lasted the entire duration of the drip.  My coloring turned from a normal light pink to a jaundice yellow.  After the drip was done the symptoms slowly faded.  

When the nurse pulled the needle from my port I didn't feel much at all, just a slight pressure.  I headed home and the fatigue and loopiness was still present.  I got home and immediately walked my dog in the snow to shake the chemo buzz off and it worked wonders.  I had noticed that moving around and staying active helped far more than hitting the couch.  The symptoms had subsided and I was off to bed pretty early!  

Day 2 - Slept great and I woke up and felt good.  I was fatigued all day however again,  as long as I kept moving I had energy.  The moment I had laid down, I could have slept all day long, easily!  I took my nausea pills as well as my steroid pills.  With the steroid pills I will have to take them AM & PM the day before Chemo - Day of Chemo - Day after Chemo for every treatment.    

Day 3 - Slept great again and woke up feeling excellent!  Plenty of energy and feeling the most "normal" I have felt since being diagnosed.  

Day 4 - Slept well, however I woke up to my face & neck broken out in whiteheads, acne & red bumps.  By the time I got to work @ 8:30am I had the following symptoms come on like gangbusters:

- Nausea

- Neck & Shoulders ache

- Tongue feels burnt and is a bit sore when I swallow

- My skin itches all over and I have little bumps on my scalp that itch as well

- Fatigue

- Constipation

 On the Taxotere drip - Not my fave

** Chemo Care Bag **  

Thanks to my amazing Momma and cousin Kristen, they bought this adorable tote bag with all the goodies I would need for the long day!

Slippers 

Cozy Socks 

Ginger Candies 

(To offset the medicine taste with the infusions)

Cozy Blanket 

Movies 

Books / Magazines 

Water Jug 

Chap Stick 

PET Scan

Thursday - February 6th - PET Scan Day

18 Days Post Diagnosis

This sucker looks like its straight out of a space movie.  I think the torture of this lovely device is more so the NO EATING all day long.  I was given strict order to only eat protein and veggies the day before - only protein the day of until 8am - then no coffee or food (only water) after 8am until the procedure is complete (about 4'ish).  How I keep all of this info together in my brain, is beyond me! 

I will be hooked up to an IV with fluorodeoxyglucose (hardcore sugar base solution).  I have to hang tight for an hour or so until its fully in my system.  What this will show are the more "active cells" (the tumor) devouring the sugar solution and what other parts of my body are eating it up as well. These cells will show as "hot spots" on the images and this will be considered my BEFORE photo prior to starting chemo.  I will take an AFTER later on to see how the chemo is working!



PET Scan Experience:

Definitely NOT my favorite thus far!  It makes an MRI seem like a cake walk.  The breakdown... 

- Show up, get an IV 

- Escorted to this trailer outside with radioactive chemicals (that they will inject INTO me)

- Park my ass in a recliner, in a sterile room. No reading material or TV

- Sit there for 90 minutes with NOTHING to do. I was not aloud to even exercise my eyeballs with some reading material due to the muscle energy it would use. Are you joking!  

- Room has to be kept at 73+ degrees and I am NOT aloud to become cold.  Insert 4 freakin' blankets on top of me and now I am sweating like a pig. 

- 90 minutes are UP. Drain my bladder. And head to the PET machine

- Laying down on a skinny bed they swaddle me tightly with my arms to my sides and legs straight for 90 minutes. 

- Butt goes numb. Face starts itching (go figure). Hands lose feeling.  I want to scream!!!

- All done. Never again. But I will be back :(  ARG!

My first chemo starts tomorrow.  I am to report to the Cancer Care Center at 8:40am and will not be leaving until 4:30pm - Ouch!  Because this will be my 1st treatment, they drag out the doses to avoid allergic reaction.  Hence the ridiculously long day.  

Now, I am trying to see this as the "Chemo Vaca" and here is why... I am a do'er. I go go go (thanks mom for passing that trait onto me) and I cannot sit for very long.  On my chemo days I have no choice but to sit in a recliner and watch movies, read, knit and talk to visitors for about 4 hours.  I'm sorry but WHO wouldn't dig that!  As a mom of two little boys I am most certainly going to make my Chemo Vaca worth every second.  

The "Chemo Vaca" Schedule will go like this:
4hours long - every 3 weeks - for 18 weeks.  However, every week I will be going in for 30 minutes to receive Herceptin (for my HER2 positive diagnosis).  Once my chemo is complete (mid June) the Herceptin will be switched to once every 3 weeks to finish out 1 full year (Feb 2015). Brain overload yet?!

The "Ideal Situation" as it stands right now:
I met with my new surgeon on Monday in regards to my mastectomy and ovaries.  IF my BRCA1 gene comes back negative the hope is that the chemo will shrink the little bastard (tumor) atleast 50% or more.  At that point I will be a candidate for a lumpectomy and breast conservation + radiation to my chest for 6 weeks. IF my BRCA1 gene comes back positive, everything must go.  I will have a bilateral mastectomy but might way my option of nixing radiation.  I am given until 40yrs old to have my ovaries removed but obviously the sooner the better.    

A Simple Hug!

I have been receiving quite a few of these little pictures lately and this one has to be my favorite!  I have not been able to give or receive a full, hearty and loving hug in almost a week due to my incisions healing.  It sure makes one appreciate how good a simple hug can feel.  So here's the deal... hug someone and appreciate how it makes you feel!  

Because I would give a whole 'lotta somethin' to have a solid hug right now.

Much Love 

IV Port & Sentinel Biopsy

Friday - January 31st - My 1st Anesthesia Experience 

I had a very LONG Friday.  One of my surgeons decided to kick off my weekend with a 5:30am check in time for surgery!

Scott and I arrived and I was immediately hooked up to an IV and escorted (pushed around on a bed) to the local Nuclear Radiology room.  I was given 4 injections around my left nipple and it was NOT as painful as I had anticipated.  Honestly, I would do this procedure 10x over if it meant never doing a Core Needle Biopsy again. 

These injections light up my lymph nodes near the tumor in my left breast.  Whichever lymph node lights up first, would be considered the Sentinel Lymph Node and will be removed during surgery and tested right then and there for cancer cells. 

At about 9:15am I was given a nice dose of anesthesia. Never in my life have I been put under - and on a breathing tube!  The procedure consisted of my IV Port being placed under the skin in my chest, as well as the removal of the Sentinel Lymph Node.  Upon waking up, my recovery nurse informed me that the lymph node came back NEGATIVE for cancer cells!!!  I - Started - Balling!  I don't think I have ever cried so much over happiness IN MY LIFE.  I sure sobered up from anesthesia after that and was happily rolled into my hospital room where Scott and my Mom came in to see me.  My surgeon was genuinely shocked with the results.  He had already told my family, before I arrived after surgery.  Tears all around. 

From the moment of diagnosis, the lymph nodes were my biggest concern.  Once the cancer flows into that traffic system, the diagnosis changes.  In my mind half the battle has now been fought!  Now onto the PET Scan and then Chemo.  

Side note: Apparently breathing tubes get rid of gnarly coughs! I have had a ridiculous hack for the last 2+ months.  Since I have woken up from my surgery - NOT ONE COUGH! Crazy, right! Gain a port, lose a cough. Not too shabby.

My life line :)

I told my surgeon he better be kind with the incision... because he was responsible for how BIG the tattoo would be when I go to cover up the scar next year!